Throwaway Kids…

Before I ask my questions, let me tell you what I’m doing.  I supervise a team of 12 people who do intensive home-based therapy.  We treat SED kids who are at immediate risk of alternative placement, or are so sick that they can’t function at home, school or in the community.

Here’s what we’ve found:  many of these kids are so sick that their parent(s) don’t want them anymore.  Some of them are a huge threat to themselves and others.  All of them are on at least two psychotropic drugs.  They wind up on probation because of their behaviors…and spend much of their time in the detention center due to probation violations.

They need NOT to be in jail.  They can’t function at home.  They need residential placement.  But there are no facilities that take really sick kids.   I’m treating a kid with Conversion Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Conduct Disorder and traits of Borderline and Histrionic Disorders.  She’s on six medications…totally out of control….violent…self-injurious.  And she’s been turned down by every residential facility in the northeastern part of our state.  Everyone is afraid of a lawsuit because she’s so unpredictable. 

So, get this…all of our local service providers expect her parents to care for her in their home.  They won’t chemically restrain her, because that’s not ethical.  What?  The other day she beat the crap out of her mother and got charged with DV; a fourth degree felony.  Now she might go to prison.  Is that what she needs?  Absolutely not!

Another teen of ours is a constant runner.  She spent 180 days in detention last year.  Then, guess what.  Everyone cut her loose.  She can’t be controlled so all involved agencies have given up on her.  She’ll be 18 in a year, and, my guess?…she’ll be selling it on the streets for drugs.  Why couldn’t we put her someplace from which she couldn’t run, and would have to face her illness?  Because there is no place, and there is no money.  A “boot camp” out west…350 miles from humanity, costs $16,000. a month, and no agency in our community is willing to “send good money after a bad kid”.

What can we do?  What do you do in your communities with these kids?  Why can’t we have long-term residential facilities for kids who just can’t make it at home? 

I need some input here.  Thanks for reading…and, if you’re one of the fortunate professionals who have to try to help these kids…thanks for all you do to make a difference!

Peace.

Birthday Thoughts

OK….in just four hours I’m going to be a year older.  This go-round things are a bit different.  No party.  No hoopla.  No gifts.  Just a quiet day with my son.  And I love it. 

I’ve had my share of BIG birthdays.  Surprise parties.  Huge gifts.  Amazing get togethers…when  I was always surprised at the numbers of people who were willing to give up an evening to celebrate with me.  (Now that I think about it, I arranged alot of those parties myself.  Such a prima donna I was.) 

But I’m so looking forward to this ‘quiet’ day.  I have a friend who knows that this birthday – next month – will be her last.  She has been given only a short time to live.  And I think about the fact that none of us know for sure which will be our last celebration of life.  And I realize that quiet is just as good as big, loud and drunk. 

Wonder what all of you would do on your next birthday if you knew it was to be your last?  What matters most to you when you think of final celebrations?

Yes, I certainly love my sons, my granddaughter, Morag, friends, and my precious four-legged teacher and spiritual guide, Toby.  But I also love just being alone…reading a good book, and thinking now and then of the memories of birthdays past. 

One of my first loves, in my profession, was Sigmund Freud.  He thought that the most important elements in life were work and love.  I can’t disagree.  And if it’s the ultimate design of the universe that I won’t be around for the next October 10th…I will be happy to know that I’ve worked hard and tried to love well.

I think, tonight of Chris, Josh, Morag, Katya, Melanie,Mary, Betty, Karen, Jim, Janie, Doug, Becky, Ron, Laura, Kathleen, Floyd, Wanda, Jerry, Don, Donna, Maria, Pam, Mike, Lyla, Bobbi, Teresa, Nola…and so many others who have enriched my life in so many ways.  I am truly fortunate.  Thank you all for being my “presents” throughout the years. 

May you all be blessed with the same peace, health and laughter that I enjoy on a daily basis.  Happy October 10th to me…and to each of you.

Peace

Pat

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