November 23, 2009 at 8:39 pm (Parenting)
Tags: a new brother, babies born on holidays, big snows, Thanksgiving memories
The five year old boy awoke with the first rays of the sun. He snuggled under his blankets in the cold bedroom and thought about five year old things. Suddenly he remembered that this was a holiday. He didn’t have to go to kindergarten. Yay! He could play all day. And Grandma and Grandpa were coming for dinner. And maybe it would snow so he could build a great big snowman! This was going to be a good day.
The little angel ran downstairs hoping to find that Mommy was making pancakes for breakfast. Pancakes and bacon were the best breakfast of all. But Mommy wasn’t in the kitchen. And she wasn’t in the living room…the playroom…not even in the bathroom. And Daddy wasn’t in any of those rooms either. But Grandma and Grandpa were already there. Why? It wasn’t dinnertime yet. Something wasn’t right.
“Where are Mommy and Daddy?”, the precious boy asked anxiously. Did they go to the store? Or to church? Or outside to play without him?
“They went to the hospital.”, said Grandma. “So that Mommy could have the new baby.”
“Oh great.”, thought the five year old. “Just great. Now I won’t get to have fun. And no pancakes. (Grandma’s pancakes were always runny in the middle, so there was no way he was going to ask her to make them for him.)
The day was long…and sad. No Mommy. No Daddy. And even no darn snow. And no one to play with him. That new baby was ruining everything.
Pretty soon Daddy came home and said, “Guess what? You have a new baby brother. His name is Joshua, and he’ll be coming home tomorrow to meet you. Isn’t that exciting?”
Uh, not really Dad.
But guess what happened? The next day Daddy went and brought Mommy and Baby Joshua home from the hospital. He looked like a toy! He was so little and he smelled so good. (Except when he pooped.) And then the most amazing thing happened. It started to snow! And snow! And snow! It was the biggest snow Chris had ever seen. He could build a ga-billion snowmen and still have snow leftover. Chris decided that Baby Joshua had brought all the snow just for him. Cool!!!
It was a strange Thanksgiving…but when Chris thought about it later, he decided that it was really the best Thanksgiving of all.
And even today, all these years later….Joshua is truly the best Thanksgiving gift that anyone ever got.
Happy birthday, son! You are what Thanksgiving is all about.
Mo
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October 26, 2009 at 9:58 pm (Mental Health)
Tags: chemical restraints, home based therapy, long term residential facilities, placement issues, problem teens, sick kids, unwanted children
Before I ask my questions, let me tell you what I’m doing. I supervise a team of 12 people who do intensive home-based therapy. We treat SED kids who are at immediate risk of alternative placement, or are so sick that they can’t function at home, school or in the community.
Here’s what we’ve found: many of these kids are so sick that their parent(s) don’t want them anymore. Some of them are a huge threat to themselves and others. All of them are on at least two psychotropic drugs. They wind up on probation because of their behaviors…and spend much of their time in the detention center due to probation violations.
They need NOT to be in jail. They can’t function at home. They need residential placement. But there are no facilities that take really sick kids. I’m treating a kid with Conversion Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Conduct Disorder and traits of Borderline and Histrionic Disorders. She’s on six medications…totally out of control….violent…self-injurious. And she’s been turned down by every residential facility in the northeastern part of our state. Everyone is afraid of a lawsuit because she’s so unpredictable.
So, get this…all of our local service providers expect her parents to care for her in their home. They won’t chemically restrain her, because that’s not ethical. What? The other day she beat the crap out of her mother and got charged with DV; a fourth degree felony. Now she might go to prison. Is that what she needs? Absolutely not!
Another teen of ours is a constant runner. She spent 180 days in detention last year. Then, guess what. Everyone cut her loose. She can’t be controlled so all involved agencies have given up on her. She’ll be 18 in a year, and, my guess?…she’ll be selling it on the streets for drugs. Why couldn’t we put her someplace from which she couldn’t run, and would have to face her illness? Because there is no place, and there is no money. A “boot camp” out west…350 miles from humanity, costs $16,000. a month, and no agency in our community is willing to “send good money after a bad kid”.
What can we do? What do you do in your communities with these kids? Why can’t we have long-term residential facilities for kids who just can’t make it at home?
I need some input here. Thanks for reading…and, if you’re one of the fortunate professionals who have to try to help these kids…thanks for all you do to make a difference!
Peace.
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