Warning to male readers: You may want to skip this one.
I try to avoid looking at myself when nude. I do enjoy preening in front of the mirror with my new, smaller-sized clothes on, but naked? No – I’ve never liked the appearance of raisins or prunes.
Unfortunately, I moved my full length mirror recently and didn’t pay attention to the fact that it’s in line with my undies drawer. Today, after showering, I went to get some necessities out of that drawer, and you can guess what happened.
Not only did I see the newly wrinkled me…I saw the backside of that me. Ach, mein Gott in Himmel!!! My butt is no longer where it used to be. It’s sliding down the back of my thighs! I can actually pick it up and bounce it like a week-old, half-filled water balloon.
See, I’ve gotten somewhat used to the ’swinging fruit’ on the front of me. The girls seem happy enough hanging down there by my waist, and I can, of course, lift them to old heights with a good bra. But this! This is a true catASStrophe. I mean where will it stop? Will I end up with butt on the back of my knees?
Mind you, I’m not complaining. Well sort of complaining, but I certainly don’t want the old firm body back if it comes complete with all the lost pounds. I may have been round and juicy but I was the size of the Hindenberg (sp?) a year ago.
There’s only one thing to do. I’ll buy several pairs of SpanX – (those marvelous creations) – and when pulling them on I’ll reach down the backside and pull all that flabby butt tissue up into the right spot. No one will be the wiser…that is, unless you tell, and you won’t, will you? We older women must stick together.
And, just to prove to you that I know my butt business, I’ll post pre- and post-SpanX-donning pics here. You’ll see an amazing difference.
Thanks for reading my rant. I feel so much better.
Now I’m off to go move that damn mirror.
Peace to you all.
P.S. From Hendricks
STOP THE INSANTIY!!!!! I'M BLIND!!!!
